Okay...I am being a girl...

Okay, this is blog is about honesty and this training process, and right now--today-- my tights are tight--uncomfortably tight--and frankly it is annoying. I know it is the process, but I am a girl and all girls know that if you work this hard the pants should get LOOSER not TIGHTER.

I never thought I would want license to not eat so much--especially in the Holiday season--but today it sounds pretty good.

All right, venting complete.

Much to be Thankful for...

Progress is going very well. I'm stronger, more focused and much more open about sharing the competition with people. VERY sore right now from yesterday's leg workout.

Clothes are tighter and I understand that is part of the process...it's okay...

And today I'd like to say that I am thankful...very thankful for all that is coming my way through this process. I am especially thankful for my family--my two teenage girls Kelsey and Kerry who support this crazy project-- my friends who support and do not judge, God's guidance and growing confidence I am being blessed with each day.

Happy Thanksgiving weekend everyone!

This may well be the most clear decision I've made in few years.

In May 2010 I, a 47-year old single mother of two teanage girls, will compete in a Figure Competition. A what? For those of you unfamiliar, a Figure Competition is a hybrid form bodybuilding and a beauty pagent--the bathing suit competition with "guns."

The obvious question is why? I work full time, cart my girls to this activity or that, take care of the house, laundry, yard work, etc. You get the idea. So it's not like I don't have better thing to do.

I am choosing to work out six days a week, restrict my diet to chicken and...chicken...for the goal of coating myself in tan spray to walk across a stage in a bikini and high heals! What?

Why? Why do that? I could give a list of reasons but the real reason is really simple.

I am tired of being afraid. Tired of caring what other people think. Since 2007 hope, fear and self-doubt have kept me frozen. Afraid to to be myself, speak my mind and be heard. I have lost who I am. I truly don't know any more. The only thing that I was sure was still me during this time was working out. No matter what, I kept that one small piece of me.

So now, something has told me to take these workouts to a competitive level.

I think Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, "Take the first step in faith. You don't have see the whole staircase, just take the first step."

Guess I'm taking the first step and climbing the staircase...(or climbing the Stair Master at the gym!)