Jeannie's Gym Journey

This may well be the most clear decision I've made in few years.

In May 2010 I, a 47-year old single mother of two teanage girls, will compete in a Figure Competition. A what? For those of you unfamiliar, a Figure Competition is a hybrid form bodybuilding and a beauty pagent--the bathing suit competition with "guns."

The obvious question is why? I work full time, cart my girls to this activity or that, take care of the house, laundry, yard work, etc. You get the idea. So it's not like I don't have better thing to do.

I am choosing to work out six days a week, restrict my diet to chicken and...chicken...for the goal of coating myself in tan spray to walk across a stage in a bikini and high heals! What?

Why? Why do that? I could give a list of reasons but the real reason is really simple.

I am tired of being afraid. Tired of caring what other people think. Since 2007 hope, fear and self-doubt have kept me frozen. Afraid to to be myself, speak my mind and be heard. I have lost who I am. I truly don't know any more. The only thing that I was sure was still me during this time was working out. No matter what, I kept that one small piece of me.

So now, something has told me to take these workouts to a competitive level.

I think Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, "Take the first step in faith. You don't have see the whole staircase, just take the first step."

Guess I'm taking the first step and climbing the staircase...(or climbing the Stair Master at the gym!)